happy, merry married

happy, merry married

NB: Chupa Chups, Jr. My apologies for the broken record (post).


Yo! Yo! YO! Hey! HEY! HEY! Back it up! Back it up! You were so 2004! Do you know how long it took to get over you? A summer romance can last a very long time. A very, very, very long time. How does the saying go? Few minutes of pleasure, nine months of pain? Listen! It took me years to get over you! I had to hear about your girlfriends. Your possible boyfriend. Your engagement. Your MARRIAGE! I can’t believe after all this time you decide to make contact once more. After six long years, you attempt to cut open a 95% healed wound. I tried to keep in contact but you wouldn’t have it. Now after you’ve been married for almost a year you decide to say- Hey, how’s it going?! Are you insane?! Clearly! Luckily it didn’t sting as bad as it would’ve five years ago. Luckily it didn’t take me months to get over this. I’m thankful. I’m so very thankful for all the jabs throughout the years. They tore down this magical, wholesome picture I had stored. The jabs helped me heal. They hurt but they helped me heal. I’ll allow you this one pass but no more. Be on your merry and married life.

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cc, jr

cc, jr

Dearest Chupa Chups,

I’ve been reading your blog, and although mildly entertaining, I feel as if you whine too much. With this open letter, I plan on instructing you to the error of your ways. First, you’re very repetitive. Get over your past relationships. They are in the past for a reason. You’ve learned your lesson. You’ve experienced a moment. Please move forward. Stop living in the past. It only harbors more resentment. Second, I would like for you to quit restarting your life. Every post of starting fresh is meaningless unless you back it up with actions. One step in front of the other is all it takes. We’ve all been there but eventually we dig our feet out of the cement. Stop letting procrastination win. Also, stop blaming your failed attempts at procrastination. It’s there doing its job. Are you? Third, I find you mildly quirky. Ever thought of being a comedienne? No? Good. Work on it and then get into it. Do an open mic or something. See what happens.

Your avid reader,

Chupa Chups, Jr.



Dear Chupa Chups, Jr.

Thank you for your note. I find it very helpful to read feedback from my fans. I appreciate you taking the time to write your letter and offering such great suggestions. I’ll definitely take them into consideration.

Hope you keep reading!

All the best,

Chupa Chups

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