revealing dreams

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

revealing dreams

Unexpectedly, I am being ushered into a room, where dozens of students are hard at work on tests, to take a standardized test I didn’t study for or even know I was scheduled to take. As I am being sat down at my desk, I look around the room at the giggling faces and wonder what the hell I am doing in there. In the back of the room, way across to the other side, I see a very familiar silhouette, it was the teacher. Wearing his usual attire, blue-hooded sweatshirt and jeans, I notice his eyes meet mine. I felt a stir in my stomach, was it the breakfast I didn’t have or the pain I felt because we weren’t together anymore? Who knows, but I decided to approach him. He stands up and looks as dashing as ever. As I come closer, the room begins to move around. I’m being pushed in the opposite direction. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. Here I am being told I have to take a test and all I want to do is go to the teacher and perhaps confront him.

Scene Two:
I am in another room and the teacher appears. This time he is not alone. He is accompanied by some dark-haired girl named April. He tells me he likes her and that they are “involved”. Naturally, I assume that she is the reason our “thing” ended. It hurt to see them together, but at the same time I felt some peace of mind to know the why. Many things happened and it seemed I had yet another chance with him.

The only reason I remember any part of these dreams is because I woke up to pain, anguish, and heartache. During the day, I busy myself with work or other productive things. I try my hardest to suppress any feelings I may have towards the teacher. If it wasn’t for these dreams, I doubt I will ever know how much this situation has affected me. Ironically, a few months ago, I dreaded this moment and thought it would devastate me. So far, it hasn’t turned out too bad. It still hurts, but not as badly as I thought it would.

Anyway, I am glad I am dealing with this situation in one way or another. Hopefully, writing out my feelings and my dreams will help me out in the long run.