moving on, slowly but surely

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

moving on, slowly but surely

My masters thesis survey is finally up and running and I couldn’t be any prouder. Actually I could but heck I have to get on with it. It is due in less than two months and I am far behind. Although the actual due date is on the 15th of September, I really want to hand it in on the 15th of December. Unfortunately, my situation keeps changing so I really have to try my best to get it done in a month. The pressure is on but I am really glad I have good quality data. One thing that does annoy me is when people send back feedback or leave comments. Some are like “where are the men” and others are often offended by the lack of proper ethnicity options. Darlings, I just can’t help the ethnicity question. I’m using the British standards and it doesn’t include your ethnicity. Actually that ethnicity question is one of my worst pet peeves, along with the race question. Those questions are so ambiguous. Depending on what side of the world you are, you can be considered whatever. It just truly annoys me why people see the need to further divide humans. I mean I understand why it’s needed in science but these things get used for the wrong political reasons. It's a shame science gets treated this way.

Besides my survey, I’ve been busying myself with job applications. I need a job desperately. I don’t mind in what country it is, as long as I’m being paid enough to pay back my student loans, have a roof over my head, and eat. Life gets tougher as you age, and it sucks. However, I’m sort of glad that many people believe I am at least 7 years younger than my actual age. It does annoy me sometimes when I go out dancing with my friends, and out of everyone in the group, I’m the only one who gets carded. Oh, did I mention that everyone else in the group is younger than me? Yes, my friends who are younger than me don’t get carded. It is unbelievable. But, whatever.

On the home front, it is one dilemma after another. My brother got kicked out of my aunt’s apartment. My mother doesn’t want him to come back home. And, of course, I feel horrible that my little brother will be out in the streets. He mentioned that as soon as he finds a new place he will stop all forms of communication with the family. Seriously, do things need to get that drastic? What I really fear is that he’ll end up like our father. Going from place to place to place because he has an attitude and anger problem. He recognizes he has serious issues he needs to deal with but chooses ways to not face them straight on. Religion should be the salvation to all the planet’s woes but this requires some counseling. I’m really worried about him but I have to trust that he’ll be fine. After all this is a grown individual in his early 20s. I really hope he sets himself straight.

As for my living situation, I’m still in the search for a new roommate. A possible young lady from NYU has shown some interest but really who knows at this point. One of my biggest fears when I go back home is that I’ll go back to my old habits. Those that lead to me feeling lost and bored of life. I just have to keep telling myself it is not about location. It’s about me and what I want to do. Whatever it is that I want/need to do, I can do it anywhere in the world. I just have to keep my hopes and dreams alive. It is definitely easier said than done when you head back to the daily grind. Day-after-day it only seems like you are there to pay for your bills and face your responsibilities; almost as if the fun is being sucked out of life.  I’m scared.