where's my life jacket?

Friday, November 14, 2008

where's my life jacket?

Merely a year ago I was completely debt-free, minus the credit card bill that was more than manageable. However, this Christmas I sing another tune, the tune of debt. After taking out massive student loans, I am trying my hardest to keep afloat. I’m managing if only by the grace of god but I need to remove myself from all this heavy debt. Thus far I have two massive debts: my student loans and my credit card bill. The student loan I know I’ll have with me for years so I’m sort of ok with that if that’s the only big bill I have. The credit card debt is still somewhat manageable but once the second student loan repayment kicks in it will probably become a burden. Besides those debts, I have two that I truly want to get out of the way immediately. One is the security deposit return for my former roommate. Since she vacated the apartment and left it for me, I was supposed to give her the security deposit she put down. I truly want to give her the security because she, too, is struggling and is soon expecting a little one in January….hence why I want to give her the cash she needs before than. She’s been really great to me and I truly appreciate that. On top of her generosity throughout our living together, she has not once pressured me for her money back and I’ve been living in the apartment since September. The other debt that I truly want to rectify is the security deposit of my current roommate/friend that I had to sort of use. When I moved back I was completely and I mean completely broke. The first paycheck didn’t come soon enough and of course it wasn’t enough to cover the mounting money I had to dish out. Once I’m done with both of these, I really only have my regular monthly bills: rent, phone, utility, etc. It seems really stressful and it is but hopefully I’ll learn to cope and gain some much needed serenity now.

As a form of cheap entertainment and to reduce some stress, I joined a meditation group. Last night was my first class and I loved it. It wasn’t pretentious or anything like that it was just some good old, straight forward meditation. We meditate for 45 minutes, shared what we experienced, and finished off with some metta meditation.

Inner thoughts- This is so stressful. I’m feeling overwhelmed with debt and with life. I need help. Perhaps that Cigna stress management program will work. Ha. I’ll survive. I’ll survive. I just need to take it easy and slowly.