the leaf has been turned

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

the leaf has been turned

Only by the grace of God did I wake up this morning around 6 to make my 7am yoga class. Although the yoga class wasn’t as intensive as I expected, it was pretty nice to have a small class and an empty gym. Showering to some Christmas jazz was also a fabulous way to start the morning off right. However, getting splashed with dirty rain water by a speeding car is definitely not a great start. Just like the water rolled off me so did the negative attitudes that the event normally brings. Even more shockingly to my wonderful morning is that I arrived at work early! Not 15 minutes late but early. I made myself some hot oatmeal and had a banana and tea for a beverage. All in all, I would say I’m having a rather peaceful and productive morning. To turn matters to somewhat of a sour note, I’ve gained weight, dramatically. In the past two to three months, I’ve gained about 10 pounds. I weigh almost as much as my pregnant friend, who is 8 months pregnant. My body definitely shows signs of weight increase through the newly formed stretch marks and my protruding belly and buttocks. Of course, now my clothes don’t fit. I find myself having to wear skirts a lot more often because my jeans will not button. Slowly though I’m starting to get to the right frame of mind. I signed up for the gym last Thursday and so far have only missed two days. The first night I signed up I decided to go for a little 20 minute run and low and behold I hurt myself because I didn’t stretch. My leg is still in pain but it’s getting a whole lot better.

On the academic front, I finally checked my grades and I did indeed pass my dissertation. Not by much but I passed. Considering that the word count was half of what it should’ve been and that I totally half-assed the discussion session, I am definitely grateful. Also, I finally saw the grades for my other class and overall not bad. They are not my usual grades but considering that it was a totally different education system than the one I’m accustomed to I would say I did pretty ok.

Seeing as I half-ass everything in my life. I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf. My half-assing days are over. I’m going to try my best at things. I’m going to finally chase my dream of having my PhD. I’m going to start my own research firm. I’m going to live the lifestyle I’ve always wanted to. As for the significant other, that will come in time. For now I’m too self conscious to chase anyone. I need to heal inside and now outside as well.

So…Namaste…peace to you all.