exhaling

Friday, June 15, 2007

exhaling

Dwelling on a loss isn’t good. Yes, I am still in mourning over the loss of the teacher. Sometimes I just can’t help but try to figure out what went wrong. The only logical explanation I came up with is that it all started going down hill the day I asked him to be exclusive. Perhaps I hurt some male ego or asked him for something he couldn’t give. Folks it wasn’t a kidney, but I understand. As I explained to him, I just wanted something more but not an all out love affair. From what I could remember, ever since that day everything just got sour. After all, we only lasted about three more weeks after that. I was definitely disillusioned and something changed in me. I guess something changed in him as well. Who truly knows? I sure as hell don’t. For now, I will pretend it was just that. I won’t entertain the fact that he met someone and started getting serious. If that was the case, I am definitely no one to judge because towards the end I was dating two other guys. It just saddens me to see how something so great fell so quickly. I know what your next question is going to be. Well, if it was that great, why did it fail? It was great for me because it was the first time I trusted and let my guard down. Yes, he wasn’t all I wanted and I am sure I wasn’t all he wanted. It was a fairy tale two months. I am starting to let go. I’m exhaling…..