conversations that persist in my head

Thursday, June 18, 2009

conversations that persist in my head

So I finally wake up after setting up five different alarms. I do my morning meditation, shower, eat breakfast, and continue with my morning routines of checking email and seeing what occurred while I was sleeping on Facebook. The good thing about having friends all over the world and in different time zones is that when you wake up to check your Facebook page, they would have already done something with their days. Onward I move with my morning. Since I woke up before 7:30 this morning, I was expecting to leave at roughly 8:30. Sadly this wasn’t the case because I left after 9am. Thankfully my employer allows us until 9:30 to be in. So as I’m walking over to work, late and all, I start thinking about random things, as is always the case when I walk. The first thing I start arguing (yes because I can’t have a nice delightful conversation with myself) about is Verizon versus Time Warner Cable. I’m upset that I’m stuck with effing Time Warner. Seeing as Verizon FiOs has infected Manhattan, I was thinking that finally I can switch over, which is so not the case. The only thing Verizon has to offer me is DirectTV- satellite. Unfortunately, I’ve tried satellite before and it definitely won’t work with my current location anymore. I’ve resigned to this fact for years now. Still I don’t get how I still can’t get FiOs. Anyway…the gods that be must not like FiOs for me. Once I’ve reached Union Square I start thinking about that a-hole who ditched me with a massive bill and a difficult financial situation. I mean the only person I should be mad at really is myself because he did the exact same thing before. I knew what I was getting into and I had faith that he wouldn’t screw me over. Luckily for me he could care less and still screwed me over. From what I gathered from the Facebook world, he and his boyfriend are soon flying off to Iceland. How effing nice?! You ditch me with all this crap and you fly off to Iceland. As I pass the soon-to-be Pret-a-Manager (or however you spell it), I start thinking about my not-so-great financial situation. I can manage but I can’t breathe, especially not take big gulps. My friends in London want me to visit but with the summer prices there is no way I can afford it. I’m stuck being a responsible, practical adult now; an adult that sees everything in a dark, dark financial light; one that feels constrained to stay put because she can’t do a darn thing. Hmmph!