remembering earl gray

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

remembering earl gray

Once I almost “fell in love.” I didn’t reach the deep stages of love but I definitely brushed up upon the first stage. It was the summer of 2004. His name was….Earl Gray. I had just broken up with my “fiancée” and I was definitely ready to mingle. We first met at the Mets game. His future brother-in-law was raising money for charity or had purchased tickets for charity. Hmmm….who knows…I can’t remember correctly. In any case, we met at a Mets game. He was there with his family and I was the guest of my friend (our mutual friend) and had brought along my niece and nephew. We didn’t really talk that day but we definitely noticed each other. After a few days or even a week or two, he invited our mutual friend to a party and she brought me along. I invited three of my friends to tag along as well. (Hmm…what’s with my bringing the entourage?) We all partied the night away. The crowd I hung out with those days was pretty wild so there was never a dull moment. After being there about an hour, Earl Gray and I still hadn’t “talked.” We had some flirtatious moments but definitely not a “moment.” Later on that night we danced. He looked extra hot close up. I looked really hot and thin those days. By the end of the night my friends and I were wasted…and we have the pictures to prove it. Hmmm…I don’t remember exactly what comes next but either we exchanged numbers that night or our friend gave it to him later on. Even though I was definitely drunk that night, I was smitten. Earl Gray was exactly what I asked for in a mate- tall, dark, and handsome. He had gorgeous eyes and an even sexier smile. His hair was awesome. He wore a black collared shirt with jeans that night. He looked cute. I can’t remember exactly how our first date went down…who asked who or the conversations that happened in between. All I can remember is that we ate dinner at Fiamma in SoHo. It was an awesome and very expensive place. Can’t remember what I wore but I know I ordered the chicken and a few glasses of either wine or some other lovely cocktail. I was drunk by the end of dinner. We somehow were at some bus stop in SoHo. He asked me back to his place. I think we caught the tail end of Gothika. We finally kissed at his place. It was sweet. Nothing happened past nice (very nice) kisses. At our next date he cooked dinner for me at his place. I know I looked rather conservative that night. I think I wore a black top. I remember the tomato basil appetizer. I brought the dessert. ;) It was a selection of little sweets from Vinero’s. We definitely had wine that night. I was definitely nervous and so was he. I know that early on I went to South Beach for a bachelorette party. During my time at SoBe, I meet a very cute and flirtatious Israel guy who I kissed. Earl Gray called me while I was down there. I was excited about him. When I landed at JFK, he was waiting at the gate for me. The entourage of girls just looked on with silly grins on their faces. I waved goodbye and got in his jeep. I was honest with him. I told him about the Israeli guy. Things were never quite easy with the two of us. He had former girlfriend issues and I just didn’t know what to do. He worked with his ex-girlfriend so there was no avoiding her. I was the dependable ear. This ex-girlfriend definitely put a strain on our relationship. The sex….was somewhat fun….I felt liberated. He allowed me free reign; he was game for whatever. I was so excited about that that I tried to imagine of anything and everything I could think of. Alas, the summer of love came to an end. We had broken up. After a few days of being broken up, we somehow got back together but kept it quiet. No one knew we had decided to start all over. Unfortunately, this is where things got complicated. Our mutual friend would tell him that I was seeing other people already, which wasn’t true. He would hear about this guy and the other. Eventually, we called it quits for good. Well…he did. Early one weekend morning…I knew it was coming. Something inside of me said it was. I sort of braced myself for it. From the beginning, I know things weren’t going to turn out well but I knew I had to experience what I did. Something inside of me said I had to do it and told me it was going to hurt. It did hurt. However, it also felt great. I felt a bit of it. I felt the love that people feel when they’re “in love.” After that relationship, I realized that my decision to end it with the fiancée was the correct choice. I did love my former fiancée but I wasn’t in love with him….that’s a major difference, a difference I learned with Earl Gray. Ooooo how the memories are flooding back. The museum conversation about the ex. The Queer Eye for the Single Man episodes. The L word episodes. The bloody mary at brunch conversation. The trips to his parent’s house. For a good long while I mourned Earl Gray. He was a part of me….even if it was just for a few months. I felt more connected with him emotionally than with my 3+ year relationship with the fiancée. I still on occasion mourn Earl Gray. On April 25, 2009, Earl Gray married another woman. Let’s call her Lady Gray. The wedding photos look nice and he looks happy. No one knows that I know the date and have seen the pictures but I do. One good thing to point out is that Earl Gray definitely doesn’t look the same. He is definitely starting to look his age or a lot older. Also, his metabolism sure as heck has slowed down. In any case, I wish Earl Gray tons of love and life. I’m glad he found his match. He deserves to be happy.