hamilton's rule in application

Thursday, April 1, 2010

hamilton's rule in application

I’m caught in a whirlwind, tornado, and tsunami. I’m trying to be a decent human being. I’m trying to save the world. Meanwhile, I’m losing control. I have taken the focus off myself to my own detriment. It’s led to a detrimental state of mind and spirit. In efforts to help another being, I’m lessening my own chances of a healthy state of mind. Providing support to another does require that less be provided for you but this seems like an extreme case. Helping you shouldn’t be a dangerous thing to me. If the costs outweigh the benefits, it’s detrimental and should be avoided. The altruistic behavior shouldn’t cost more than the benefit. Is this Hamilton’s rule in action? Perhaps. I don’t know anymore. I’m trying to regain footing. It’s hard. Its gut wrenching and making me feel guilty. You need a calm and assertive individual to help you out. Two nails can’t help each other. One anxiety prone individual isn’t much help to another anxiety prone individual. What can I do? I don’t know what to do? I’m being torn from limb-to-limb. Some say you may tear me limb-to-limb. I have to look out for my own health. I’m trying to save your health but then who’s looking out for mine. You have people looking out for you. I have me. If I don’t help me, I’m stuck. You have your cute puppy dog eyes. I have just me. I’m sorry. I have just me. I’m trying to look out for you as well. I took the extreme opinions out of the equation. I focused on what I can provide for you. I’m inexperienced. Yes, experience comes with delving into things but I’m still inexperienced. You need help; experienced help. I wish I could help but I can’t. I have a life. This is tough. I have to move forward. I have this little girl inside of me to look after. She has plans. She only has me to take care of her. It’s me and my inner me. You have you and other people. I’m sorry.