carpe diem

Monday, April 16, 2007

carpe diem

Seizing the moment has always been my motto in life. I was supposed to grab life by the balls and yank it- ha. With my departure nearing, I am beginning to question whether I should proceed or not. Do you remember the feeling during the last year in high school when you wish that the last three years were as good as the last? You know that eventually you have to part ways and it becomes a reality that you have to move onto the next stage in life. Well that’s exactly the feeling I have now. It is like living life with a death sentence. You always know your time here is fleeting but you never truly do anything about it until you are giving a death certificate. I am not saying that I want to do a whole 180 on my life for a boy who may or may not work out. I am just saying that considering that I have always avoided this part of my life, why can’t I indulge this for a bit. Thus far, my journey in life has been a lonely one. Not just in the romantic zone but also in the friend zone. I don’t want to be isolated or lonely all of my life. I want company. I want to feel! Don’t want to continue to hide my emotions for fear of being hurt. I want to experience the emotional part of life.