adios

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

adios

In memory of fallen soldiers and those who fought for our democracy, the US has dedicated a day to commemorate all their efforts and to show them how much we thank them; this day is known to us all as Memorial Day. For as long as I can remember, this day (or weekend) has also commemorated the beginning of the summer season. During this past weekend as we remembered our soldiers by strutting our summer outfits on the beach, I enjoyed our empty streets by walking around aimlessly like a tourist. This weekend also marked the end of what was a beautiful two month courtship. Yes, you’ve read correctly. It has officially been five days since I last heard from teach so as history has told me that means it is officially over. I can’t say I remember exactly what it was that ended it but it is over. The last memory of the teach I have is him walking off to work in his blue shirt and the deli man asking me if I was on my way to work. Never did I think that that was the last I would be seeing of him but alas it is. I cannot say that I am not disheartened by how the situation turned out or that I am not sad because I am. Incidents like this relationship with the teach are what keep me cynical to the world of relationships. How am I supposed to trust, love or feel anything for anyone when this keeps happening? How am I supposed to constantly let me guard down to find that right one? I don’t want to feel hurt or any type of pain as I am sure no one does either. For me it is completely different though. Instead of allowing myself to seek out that wonderful love, I shut down every time this happens. I am beginning to think that one day I just won’t open my thick, cold stone walls again. Sadly this is my story and my life. I cannot do anything but keep living and focusing on the only thing that I can control—school. Adios teach.